How to tell if you are aromantic

If you question your romantic orientation and try to figure out if you are aromantic, the following list of possible signs might help you.


Attention: Figuring out if you're really aromantic can be a challenge. How do you know if you've never felt romantic attraction, if you're not sure what romantic attraction even is and no one can satisfactorily explain it to you? The following list contains possible signs of aromanticism which are just generalizations. You don't need to be familiar with all of the experiences listed below to identify as aromantic nor does it necessarily mean you are not aromantic if just few of them apply to you. Of course romantic people might identify with some of the listed experiences as well.


1. The concept of a romantic relationship doesn't appeal to you.


2. You don't idolize another person as the Right One.


3. You have wondered whether love is just a cultural construct.


4. You have never fallen in love with someone before and don't care about it.


5. You don't know how it feels to have butterflies in one's stomach.


6. You have trouble relating when your friends discuss their romantic feelings because you find

    their romantic experiences rather boring.


7. You don't initiate relationships which are purposely monogamous.


8. You treasure friendship more than love.


9. You find romance boring or upsetting when it appears in fiction or television.


10. You are always in search of a novel or a film without a romantic plot.


11. You don't like hugging or cuddling with other people.


12. If you recognize the romantic feelings of person x you are confused and avoid an encounter.


13. You imagine your future without a marriage.


14. You feel complete without a partner and don't miss anything.


15. You wonder why the concept of love shall show itself in romantic actions.


16. You have never had a crush on somebody.


17. You don't care about Valentine's Day or are annoyed by it.


18. You haven't said 'I love you' to anyone but your pets.


19. You wonder why everyone else depends his luck on another person.


20. You find pet names romantic people tend to give each other ridiculous.


21.  Identifying as aromantic makes you feel relieved and more like yourself.


22. Knowing that aromanticism is a romantic orientation makes you feel glad not to be the only

     person feeling this way.


23. You have trouble telling the difference between platonic and romantic feelings.


24. You have never had a romantic relationship - not because you couldn't get one, but because

      you simply never wanted to be part of a romantic couple.


25. You are either oblivious to other people flirting with you or their attempts make you feel



26. You avoid going to places where people are likely to flirt with you such as parties or



27. The idea of spending the rest of your lifetime single doesn't frighten you.


28. You have trouble imagining romantic activities you are involved in.


29. You were perceived as flirtatious when you only meant to be friendly.


30. You are not interested in romantic activities such as dating.


31. You don't understand why people do ridiculous and irrational things when they are in love.


32. When someone suggests having a romantic relationship with you, you don't understand why

      he is not satisfied with a platonic relation.


33. You don't believe that romantic love is the only way to love someone.


34. When you do romantic things, it feels like you're copying a behaviour you've seen elsewhere

     rather than acting out of inner emotional needs.


35. You don't understand why finding something romantic, e.g. the sunset, would lead you to the

      desire of interacting romantically with another person.


36. You can't relate to the idea of awakening in the morning next to another person.


37. Observing a kissing couple makes you want to instantly vomit.


38. The way you show other people your affection differs a lot from the usual concept.


39. You don't mind being in somebody's friendzone because that's your goal.


40. When listening to love songs you're fascinated by the melodies and not by the lyrics.


41. You think about love and romantic relationships rather rational and try to analyze them.


42. Your understanding of romantic feelings and relationships is rather abstract and 'trained'.


Authors: Siku, Kari

Kommentar schreiben

Kommentare: 13
  • #1

    Star (Mittwoch, 30 Dezember 2015 18:08)

    thanx, that helped a lot!

  • #2

    Kari (Donnerstag, 31 Dezember 2015 16:30)

    Thank you for commenting, Star. We are delighted to hear that our list was helpful to you.

  • #3

    Erin (Samstag, 09 Januar 2016 03:43)

    This was very helpful. However, I do have a question. I related to a majority of these but there were one or two I found not to be correct. Does this put you in the gray area or boot you from the aromantic umbrella entirely?
    Danke schön!

  • #4

    Kari (Samstag, 09 Januar 2016 09:53)

    Hi Erin! As we already wrote above, the following list contains possible signs of aromanticism. You don't need to be familiar with all of the experiences listed above to identify as aromantic nor does it necessarily mean you are not aromantic if just few of them apply to you.
    In your special case, given the fact that you could relate to a majority of these, chances are that 'aromantic' is just the right term for you to identify with.

  • #5

    Siku (Samstag, 09 Januar 2016 11:31)

    To decide whether a label is fitting or not is always a personal choice. As long as you can identify with the term 'aromanticism' because that's what describes your feelings best, that's fine!

  • #6

    Erin (Sonntag, 10 Januar 2016 02:52)

    I'll be honest, I didn't see the top part until just now so I apologize for making a repetitive question. Thank you so very much for responding to my question anyway, Kari, even though I was redundant.
    And Siku, thank you for your input as well! It was also very helpful!
    Danke schön!

  • #7

    Uli (Donnerstag, 21 April 2016 04:16)

    This was very helpful for me. I'm even sharing to people who have liked me romantically to help explain.

  • #8

    theo (Dienstag, 16 Mai 2017 22:00)

    This was both really interesting and absolutely helpful to me thank you! There was also a poin that was totally new to me. poin 35 was so confusing and surprising it made me laugh instantly, because i never knew people had a desire to do something romantic with the person they love when they see something like the sunset or something.

  • #9

    Lynn (Freitag, 21 Juli 2017 21:50)

    I related to a little over half of these, some I didn't know about because I've never really had or pursued a romantic relationship. I'm not sure if I'm just not interested yet because I'm high school aged or I if I simply don't ever want a romantic relationship.

  • #10

    fany sanchez (Dienstag, 29 August 2017 06:11)

    I just feel like that, finding out that I am aromantic person it really relieves me, but it's complicated when people around you don't fell love just because you don't show that much affection, I definitely don't feel comfortable with a romantic couple, I love my friends so much I treat them better than I treat my boyfriend people think I'm bitchy or something but I know I am not and its more natural to show a happy smiles with a friend because if you do it with boyfriend he will tried to kiss you, and I love to meet new people jut to be on the friendzone I like to be there.

  • #11

    Toni (Dienstag, 03 Oktober 2017 04:00)

    I have followed romantic customs because I thought that was what you had to do but I didn’t realize that people actually FELT like giving romantic gestures instead of feeling OBLIGATED to. I identify with a lot of things listed here thank you so much.

  • #12

    Jack Damien (Dienstag, 24 Oktober 2017 02:14)

    Does this list apply to all ages?

  • #13

    848905 (Donnerstag, 07 Dezember 2017 04:35)

    What do I do? I am 12 and have an aromantic friend, and I don’t know if I am aromantic. I have had crushes before, but now I look back and see it was all childish and it makes me sick. I’m so confused.